I Feel the Need, the Need for Speed!

OK, back to the fun stuff my last post was a bit heavy.  This one is just plain fun, well unless you are the defendant.  Digging in to the deep recesses of my mind, I have come up with another one that I thought was fun and worth sharing.  Now I need to be honest, I am not doing any research and the facts may have become a bit foggy, or even slightly blurred over the decade plus since I have prosecuted this case but this is the honest truth as I remember it.  

I was prosecuting cases in juvenile crimes back in 2004 – 2005.  I had a great case where a juvenile stole a car.  The fun part was this was not just any car, he stole a police car.  Now I am not an officer,

nor have I ever been one.  That being said, some of my all-time closest friends have been police officers and as they have explained it, this is about the worst thing that can happen to an officer.  

To use the best analogy I can in an effort to explain what it is like for an officer to have his car stolen, pretend you are playing on Super Bowl Sunday.  You pick up a fumble and charge for the end zone.  Somewhere in the carnage of the game you get turn around and run it in thinking you have scored the winning touchdown, however, in reality, you have given the other team two points for a safety… on national TV.  That is what it is like for an officer.  It is something that they will never live down. 

What makes this case so funny is not the poor officer who is now the Jim Marshall of his department, but the 15 year old kid who stole the car.  Right after stealing the car he got nervous about his new foray in to the thug life so did the only rationale thing to do in this situation, he called 911 to report the theft. 

OK, the following is close, but this is in no way a perfect word for word transcript of the 911 call I had in my file.

Dispatch: 911, what is your emergency.

Juvenile Delinquent (JD): Ahh I would like to report a stolen car.

911: Do you know where the car is?  

JD: I do, it is on University and Country Club right now.  

911: Right now?

JD: Ahh yeah I am driving it. 

911: You are driving a stolen car?

JD: Uh huh.  

911: You need to pull over and give me your exact address so the police can come meet you.  

JD: I think they know where I am, they are chasing me.  

911: Sir, you need to pull over. 

JD: Will they arrest me?

911: I can’t answer that, but you need to pull over.

JD: Do you know how to turn on the sirens? 

911: Sirens?

JD: Yeah the sirens?

911: I am not what sure what you mean sir, you need to p… wait are you in a police car? 

JD:  Does that matter? 

911: Yes, it certainly does! You need to pull over imediat… (Interrupted by JD)

JD: Never mind, I got em. (The sound of sirens start.)

911: SIR, PULL OVER NOW!

JD: So, can you get them to agree not to arrest me if I pullover. 

911: No, you need to stop the car now!

JD: Nah, if they are going to arrest me, I am going to have some fun.  They are not going to catch me.  

Call ends.

Approximately 30 seconds later. 

911: 911 what is your emergency? 

JD: Ahh I need to report a wrecked car. 

OK, I am not doing it justice, but the kid kept driving and quickly wrecked the police cruiser.  He was then, of course, taken in to custody by the police.  

This juvenile was so nice to give me a play by play commentary of most of the pursuit, it made it oh so easy to prosecute him.  This case just goes to show it is always a good idea to give it a ten count before you make any decision.  If you see a police cruiser running with the keys in it.  Just take a second and decide whether or not it is really worth it.  It’s not!