Friday, February 22, 2019

“That rock is just too small for $100!”


“Hello 9-1-1, what is your emergency?”
“I was just ripped off, I was robbed, I need the police now!”
“Ma’am, is everyone OK, can you describe the suspect?”
“It was Charlie, he just ripped me off, you should see the size of the rock he game me.  I gave him $100, this thing aint worth $50.”
“Rock?”
“Yeah rock, my crack, don’t you listen lady, he just tore out of here and I need the police to go run him down.  This things is too small.”
OK, I have no idea of that was really a word for word account of what was actually said.  According to the police report it was pretty close, but the years have passed and this is as close as I can get from memory.  
In case my attempt to recreate the phone call between a 9-1-1 dispatcher and the soon to be defendant was confusing, I will be more concise.  This was a real case one of my colleague prosecuted where a drug user called 9-1-1, to report her dealer because her rock of crack that she just purchased from him was entirely too small for what she paid. 
Now I know what a lot of you are thinking, isn’t it illegal to possess crack?  Yes it is.  It was a horrible idea to call the police.  When the officer arrived, I can only assume thinking he was being pranked, he found just what the 9-1-1 dispatcher said it would be,  A very large, very angry lady who wanted him to chase down her dealer and get her money back because “that rock is just too small for $100!”
The officer, somewhat flabbergasted, asked the wronged drug purchaser to put the rock in to the evidence bag.  He then promptly put the handcuffs on her and took her in.  Based on the officers report the entire ride to the jail was the lady trying to convince him that she was not the bad guy, but her dealer was?  “That rock was just too small, Charlie know better.” 
While not every prosecution is as easy as the drug user calling and then freely handing over her drugs, this one was and we can all learn a valuable lesson: don’t do drugs.  When you do, you start to think I it is ok to call the police when you don’t have enough crack.